20 8 / 2014

Nakakapagod. Sobrang nakakapagod. Mas kakayanin ko pa yata yung physical stress than mental stress. Mas nageenjoy akong maghike, magjog, magbuhat ng kung ano ano kaysa mag-isip. Yung mga bugbog ng katawan may agarang lunas iyon pero yung bugbog ng isip at emosyon, ibang usapan na. It is a one giant energy suction machine. Hanggang ngayon drained pa rin yung energy ko at hindi ko alam kung paano ko marerecharge yung sarili ko. Kung baga sa isang cellphone, araw araw mo siyang nilolobat kaya nag dedegrade na yung quality ng battery niya. I always try to be strong everyday to face the challenges ahead of me but it is tiring to be strong sometimes.

16 5 / 2014

UI. HUHUHU. TIGNAN NIYO. BINATI NIYA AKO.=((( ITO NA TALAGA ANG PINAKAMASAYANG BIRTHDAY KO SO FAR. TAPOS HINDI LANG BATI MAY ADDED MESSAGE PA. T_____T THANK YOU SIR. PINASAYA NIYO NG SOBRA YUNG ARAW KO. THANK YOU RIN GOD AT NANGYARI PO SAKIN TO. EWAN KO. HAHAHA. KABABAWAN KO LANG BA O TALAGANG ASDFGHJKL; MOMENT TO. HAHAHA

=((

UI. HUHUHU. TIGNAN NIYO. BINATI NIYA AKO.=((( ITO NA TALAGA ANG PINAKAMASAYANG BIRTHDAY KO SO FAR. TAPOS HINDI LANG BATI MAY ADDED MESSAGE PA. T_____T THANK YOU SIR. PINASAYA NIYO NG SOBRA YUNG ARAW KO. THANK YOU RIN GOD AT NANGYARI PO SAKIN TO. EWAN KO. HAHAHA. KABABAWAN KO LANG BA O TALAGANG ASDFGHJKL; MOMENT TO. HAHAHA

=((

16 5 / 2014

Hahaha. Naglilinis ako ng files ko kanina tapos natagpuan ko to. It seems to be a copy of the text I sent **** before he shifted out. Sobrang clingy ko lang. 


Heeey.

I just want you to know that I am going to miss you so much pag nag shift ka na sa *****. Wala lang, late night thoughts ko lang. Kanina kasi nag-uusap kami ng mga HS friends ko about shifting then naalala kita kaya naisipan kong magtext (aside from bored din ako).

Naisip ko kapag natuloy ka nang magshift, malolonely na yung guy side ko. Wala na akong kaasaran, wala nang madaldal, wala nang annonying, wala nang pampam, wala ng deals (especially the DEALS), wala ng bands, wala ng green (if you kow what I mean loljk). Maaring din na rin tayo sabay kumain kasi siyempre, iba na yung mga kasama mo. Sobraaaang nalulungkot talaga ako. Pero okay lang, ikaw naman ang closest guy friend ko sa UP e kaya suportado kita.

Shet. Andrama ko ngayong gabi :’( ultra gay. Nothing intimate though. Wala lang namimiss ko na rin kasi kayong dalawa ni _______. Lagi kasi akong masaya kapag kasama ko kayo.  Kahit anong asar ko sa inyo parang wala lang. Mamaya maya wala na yung galit ko. *Hininga* Yeaah right. Corny na kung corny pero grabe totoo namimiss ko na kayong dalawang unggoy kayo. (Da fuq, pagpasensyahan mo na ganito talaga ako pag nag-eemo). Pasensya rin minsan kungmakulet, wirdo, mataray, at baliw ako. Bata lamang. Basta! Basahin mo ito tapos wag mong buburahin para lagi mong maaalala. Hihi! Nyt ****!!! 

Oh come on. See. How sweet was that. Hahaha. Well. 

27 4 / 2014

  1. Playing Cards
  2. Sony Vegas Pro 12 or 13 (pirata or hindi basta working)
  3. Suspense/Thriller book (basta wag horror)

18 4 / 2014

image

Nacombo ako dude. Mula 1.75 hanggang 2.75 kinuha ko. Eto siguro yung grade para sa tulad kong inilagay ang academics sa lowest priority. Ayoko na. Ayoko na ng ganitong sem na halos every week may problema. Anyway, let’s start the sem review. 

CWTS: Paimportante yang cwts na yan. Di ko alam saan ko nakuha yang dos na yan. Okay naman yung mga kasama ko pero not as those na parang nasa CWST na ang lahat. Wala ako masyadong naging bagong close friends. Aquaintances, yes. But not to the point I will miss them so badly. 

Eng30: Idk. I should have gotten a higher grade here. Maybe a 1.5 or something. I don’t know. Maybe because I really don’t know how she graded us. 

Philo 10: PHILO 10. God Sobrang demanding. Okay naman yung subject - very interesting pero yung mga requirements talaga eh. One of the reasons din bakit naging mediocre ang performance ko sa majors ko. Plus yung mga kaklase ko pa, hindi ko kasundo. Hindi ko talaga sila trip. Buti na lang nandun si Caryssa. 

Stat 132: Okay. Still expeting for an uno but 1.25 is okay. Sa dami ba naman ng absences ko dito at araw araw na pagkalate at kawalan ng notes. Kaso sayang eh. Gwapo rin pala yung prof dito. Hi Sir Mico. Kaso mas gwapo pa rin si Sir Pelias.

Stat 133: Ahuhubells. Noong nalaman ko talaga na sure pass ako dito, sobrang saya ko. Walang exam na nag-aral ako dito. Lahat mga stock knowledge at konting basa. Tapos mga patyamba tyambang sagot at pinaghihirapang bonus. Hahaha. Well, di ko rin kasi gusto yung subject talaga.

Stat 136: Okay lang. Hahaha. Everything went aording to my expectations. Magaling magturo si Ma’am Nalica.

Stat 138: Best major so far. Prof + subject. Kaso nga lang hassle yung schedule ng mga makeup class. Nakakaantok sobra. Hahaha.

09 4 / 2014

Warning: Post may contain obscene pictures. 

Ayan. Bago ako magpost ng grades ko for this sem, ipopost ko muna yung naging sugat ko dati noong nadapa ako. Ganito rin kasi kasakit yung grades na ipopost ko mamaya. Hahaha. Oh well. Ano ba nangyari sakin? May nakatulak lang sakin habang naglalaro kami ng running man. Ayon. Nadapa ako. :)) Ang cool lang kasi yung sugat ko sa right knee ko ay “perfect” heart shaped. Cool no?

27 3 / 2014

100 posts!

100 posts!

(Source: assets)

27 3 / 2014

Sabi ng mga kaibigan ko, independent daw ako na para bang hindi ko na kailangan ng makaksama sa buhay. Kayang kaya ko na raw ang sarili ko.

Akala nila ganon. 

Akala ko rin.

Kaya nakakatawang isipin na may parte pa rin pala sa sarili kong ayaw tanggapin ang ganoong katotohanan. May parte pa rin sakin na naghahanap ng atensyon; naghahanap ng pag-aalaga. 

***

Kaya siguro ako nahuhulog sayo.

***

Pero bakit ganon? Parang may parte sakin na hindi ka tanggap. Na para bang nagsasabing ayoko sayo. Sa tuwing kasama kasi kita, lagi kong nararamdaman na may kulang sakin. Na hindi sapat na maging ako. Na para bang kailangan kong magpanggap, magpigil para lang magtuloy ang kung anumang meron sating dalawa. Maraming bawal. Maraming pangangamba. Maraming “dapat”. Pakiramdam ko rin na hindi rin uubra satin ang katahimikan. Parang kapag nagkaroon tayo ng dead air natatakot na tayo baka nabobore na tayo sa isa’t isa. Sorry. I am really more of a touchy person rather than a “story-listener and teller”.

You know what, I will tell you something. The reason why I don’t like to be in a relationship is because there is like so much demand to both parties. I just like the cuddle and supportive idea of it. I just want to play and to have fun. I want to be like in a sister-brother relationship where both just go with the flow. I don’t like the serious matters of a relationship. 

Sana if ever na magkwentuhan tayo, sana sapat na yung idea na magkasama tayo to tell that it was a fun experience.

20 3 / 2014

For the past few weeks I thought I was winning this game. I thought it would be you who would finally end this enduring play. I thought it would be me who would be happy because I won this game.

I thought…

I always thought.

But today bro, I concede. I concede because I cannot play this game anymore. It will not be fair to me if I continue. Ang galing mo eh. Effortless lang pagkapanalo. Well, what can I expect? You’re an expert. You had played this game a thousand times and won a hundred of them. How can I stand a chance? Or is it just me who was playing the game? And all this time, you were just on your natural. 

To be honest, I really do hate myself for playing with you. Why did I take the risk in the first place ba? Is it because I like you? Is it because I want you? Or that I want to kiss you, or hold your hand, or be with you every second of everyday? Were you also feeling the same? 

I just want your smile. That’s it. I want your ways, your motivation, your stares, your random stories, your random texts, your laugh on my jokes, and everything we had together. Probably sounds creepy but I want them - I want them just for me. How hard can that favor be? Sana nag-aaply din satin yung third law ni Newton: with every action comes and equal and opposite reaction.

You know what, I read an essay. It says that people tend to create ideal partner with perfect qualities but unfortunately this man is faceless. And people tend to live to find a person who can be that faceless man. It means that most who are in relationship only love the person because he has the qualities they are looking for a partner and not because that person defined the partner they want. 

Well, at least, it is all finished. After this time, we can pretend that nothing happen. Let us just hope, pretensions will be enough. Nevertheless, it was fun. I had fun. I just hoped it would have lasted longer. But now, I need to know how will we be able to recover. I really am sorry that I needed to stop all of these. :<

17 3 / 2014

Evaluate your Philosophy 10 experience.

When I first read this statement, I immediately asked myself “Should I be honest with how I feel about my Philo 10 experience or should I just write the good stuff and maybe add a little bit of my bad experiences then later on shift again to the good ones?” For 20 minutes, I was stuck in this dilemma. It seems that there is this feeling and pressure that I need to write stuff like those I read in the internet. “BEST GE EVER.” “This class under Sir Caslib certainly made my first semester in UP awesome.” “This is surely the best GE course I’ve taken in UP so far and I have absolutely no regrets in taking it.” Blah blah blah blah. It is like the perfect GE any UP student can have. With so many demands in the CRS, one will really thank the Divine Providence if he or she luckily gets it. But for me, I think I expected too much. Or maybe, I just expected the wrong things.

I admit that I was one of the UP students who dreamt to have this subject and would dare to do anything legal just to experience also the things that the past students of Sir Caslib were talking about. I also wanted to have the BEST GE EVER. I wanted the wisdom, the friends, the professor, everything Philo 10 has to offer. And that is the main reason why I tried to enlist in this subject for two consecutive semesters and luckily, on my third try, I got enlisted.

In this essay, I will not talk about how good the field trip was; how the class discussions changed the way I see the world; how excellent Sir Caslib taught the subject; how inner talents of the students were brought out; how Plato, Socrates, Confucius, and other philosophers had define life.  Many other students had attested those already. It is already given that these were the things a student of Sir Caslib in Philosophy 10 would experience. In this essay, I want to talk more about my personal experience.

 It was November 7, 2013 when my semester (well our semester) with Sir Caslib started. It started with buying of readings and when I say readings I mean readingssssssssssssssss. Honestly, at first, I could not imagine a way how would I be able to read readings as thick as my The Calculus 7 book.  To top that, Sir Caslib even told us that it was a must for his students to read the readings or else we might not be able to answer during the recitation. Yes R-E-C-I-T-A-T-I-O-N.  I felt scared. I was scared because I don’t like reading. I cannot stand reading. And that is why I am a Statistics major. We compute and analyze, not read. I even told myself “God. Mali ata yung kinuha kong subject. Magchangemat na kaya ako habang maaga pa.” But, pfft, this is the dream GE and finally, I got it. Why would I change mat just because I got intimidated with the course’s readings? I am not that weak. I am a UP student. I know I can do it. And then and there I continued my adventure. Most of the time, I would whine to my parents and friends that I didn’t want to read anymore. I was convinced that I am really not the type of person who likes to read since sometimes, although the topic is interesting, I still could not stand reading.

Aside from readings, I also had a hard time getting along with my classmates. I was not comfortable with their ways, their thug life, and experiences I cannot relate to. It seemed that I was always out of place.  The reason is maybe because we were not bonded in the first place. In fact, I was sad that our fieldtrip just turned into “inuman session” in which those who only knows how to drink alcohol joined. Through the entire course, I always told myself “Just be pleasant to them and everything will be alright.”  But wait there’s more. There were also exams, group presentations and discussions, and this paper.  One thing I can say is they were all hard. Period. I think I don’t have to elaborate on this one.

If I would describe Philosophy 10, it would be my hardest and most demanding GE subject. But that was the point. Everything I wrote here was the whole point. Why it was the BEST GE EVER and why every student of Sir Caslib have the marks - the fruit of hardships, the values tested, the skills developed the amazing view of the world, the memories inculcated, and most of all, the love Sir Caslib taught to us. Throughout the whole course my patience was tested. My perseverance, resourcefulness, critical thinking, interpersonal skill, and creativity were challenged. Sometimes, I almost gave up, but now, I was thankful that I didn’t because this is one of the successes I am proud of. Imagine, I managed to make a way how to read thoroughly and efficiently as possible. I was able to befriend those whom I thought I didn’t like. I was able to connect with them and learn that we also have similarities. I was able to reflect about life and think beyond it. I was able to surpass everything successfully. Though grades might not seem to reflect this success but at least I was one of the students of Sir Caslib who knows that deep inside, this course made a mark and taught us also how to make a mark to others. And now that I thought of it, I think that is what sets UP apart. UP has GE courses like this one that REFINES your weakness and later on TURN OUT as your strength.